This is pointless and I don’t think anyone cares, but I feel like ranting. So, sorry, world.
- I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I’m failing, and I have a total lack of motivation to change that fact. I am probably going to go to Summer school again, and I can’t find it in me to give a damn. I don’t want to spend my free time doing the obnoxious amount of work given by teachers that clearly don’t understand the meaning of the word “break,” when I could be doing things like trying to recover from the stress that’s been building up, rather than have more stress be put on top of it?
- Where the fuck did all my friends go? Did I not do a good enough job to keep them? Was I not a good enough friend? I know that that’s really not how it is, or at least I guess. But the more I think into it, I can’t understand why those that hang around with me, actually stay. I’ve had so many people leave that I know there must be some sort of problem.
This is actually pretty hypocritical, because I’ve been known to push people away and that’s turned into another reason I’m stressed because the feeling of “o god why did I do that wait I know why I did that but that was still bad why did I do that I’m a terrible person” won’t go away.
- I WORRY ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE MORE THAN I WORRY ABOUT MYSELF. This is a fact, it has always been a fact, and it will always be a fact.
- I don’t get enough sleep. Ever. Here I am, at 3am, bitching about not getting enough sleep.
- I have to reread Animal Farm for school and I don’t want to. I have other books I want to read for the first time, other homework to be doing.
- Anyone reading this (as if, lol) thinks I’m a whiny bitch right now.
- I am just totally and completely overwhelmed and I can’t put most of the actual reasons why into words because I don’t know how cause they kind of feel like.. jumbled, in my head. Like you know how in comic strips, when an animal or even a person is angry or upset, it shows a little black scribble in the thought bubble? My thoughts feel like that, when I picture them. If that makes sense.
- I have such artist’s block when it comes to drawing and photography and, for the longest time out of the three, writing. I just.
- I procrastinate like an idiot. I feel guilty for doing fun things, like playing video games or reading books or being on the internet, if I have work to be doing.
But that doesn’t make me do my work.
So I basically just sit around doing nothing and feeling guilty for it as well.
- MY BOYFRIEND IS ON LONG ISLAND AND I MISS HIM AND I WANT TO CUDDLE HIM SO FUCKING HARD RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I’M SAD AND I MISS HIM AND I WANTED TO GO WITH HIM.